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Author Topic: Hypothetical response to hypothetical comments about your ring  (Read 5016 times)
DiamondHunter
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« on: March 25, 2009, 12:10:51 PM »
"Yours is a half carat K/SI? No wonder it looks kinda yellowish. Mine's a D/VVS1 one-carat."

The above could be a hypothetical reaction to the K/SI halo E-ring I got recently. What would be a good response to that sort of remarks? I just wanted to 'prepare' my GF in advance since some of her peers are H&A RB-wearers with well-to-do BFs. I'm quick with sharp retorts but she's prone to getting tongue-tied. Thought some ready-made replies might even the score.  Evil

Share with me some of your ideas. Some of mine:-

"Really? So is everybody else's...where's the originality?"
"Well, I don't want a big, flawless diamond to draw attention from my flawless skin."
"With that finger width of yours, I dare say one carat is the bare minimum."
"I can't possibly wear my 3-carat on a daily basis."
"I love the yellowish tint. It suits my skin color."
"Thanks for that bit of info though I don't remember asking."
"I think mine's perfect. You have no idea what he went through to get it."       


I'm a nice guy really and I use put downs sparingly, but sometimes people are really asking for it. Remember GIAgirl's 'SOURGRAPES' thread??

Edit: WooHoo! I'm a Full Member now...!  Grin
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annie1
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« Reply #1 on: March 25, 2009, 12:48:20 PM »
Hmmm...  If I thought a question about ring stats was asked so that it could turn into an 'I want to one up you' type of conversation, I probably wouldn't answer with my information to start with.  I may even feign ignorance.  I would imagine it going something like this:

peer: Oh, what color and clarity is your ring?

GF: I'm not sure, I never really thought to ask DiamondHunter.  I was too swept up in the moment of him sharing how much he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of my life with me to worry about what the statistics of the ring were.  I know he did take a lot of time to find something as unique as I am to him.


I am also a fan of the 'bean dip strategy.'

peer: My ring is  D/VVS1.
GF: Yes, it's a beautiful ring.  Would you pass the bean dip?

peer: What's the size of your center stone?
GF: The perfect size for me.  Would you like some bean dip?

peer: Your ring looks a little yellow.
GF: Isn't it beautiful?  Can I get your recipe for this delicious bean dip?

Please feel free to replace bean dip with anything appropriate for the situation.  Grin

The goal of the bean dip strategy is to set boundaries by not getting into the habit of defending your choices to people who don't really care to learn about them, but are rather just in it to be argumentative.  I find the bean dip strategy to be invaluable if you live your life to a slightly different tune than others.   angel

I perfected the strategy when I got married at 22.

random person who knows nothing about my life: Wow, you are so young to be getting married.  Shouldn't you wait until you have more life experience?

me: I'm so happy.  Would you pass the bean dip?


Once you get the hang of it, it really is fantastic.
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Mrs Mitchell
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« Reply #2 on: March 25, 2009, 01:46:29 PM »
LOL!

How about "let me see your ring. Oh, it's so pretty for a round stone."

I don't think anyone would be quite so rude, surely??? The possible responses you listed are fine, but might come off as a little defensive, expecially if your GF was stung by the comment, maybe? I'd be floored if someone was rude enough to say anything like that, but if it did happen, I wouldn't respond, I'd just move on and talk about something else.

In response to what size is your centre stone - wave it under nose of nosey person and say "this big!"

Or what about the classier option - I don't know. DiamondHunter picked it out for me all by himself.  Isn't that amazing? Your ring is beautiful too.

Or "pass the bean dip." That's probably the best option. I like the bean dip strategy very much indeed.

No one had ever asked me the details of my e-ring stone. Where I live, that just isn't done. Oh, except for one person who used it as a route into talking about her own ring (and if that was a D IF, I'm a fire engine Grin ).

Jen
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DiamondHunter
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« Reply #3 on: March 25, 2009, 02:45:37 PM »
LOL. It is HYPOTHETICAL. Close friends won't make such comments, I'm sure. But as GIAGirl pointed out in her thread, there ARE sourgrapes.

I'm not sure if this holds true elsewhere. But close female buddies seem to tell each other everything,...even uh.. bedroom 'notes'. I find that embarassing to say the least. Comparing diamond rings would be a walk in the park for them. It's probably a 'maturity' thing or lack thereof...

Thanks for sharing your ideas! I'd go for the 'classy' response for most...but for truly 'obnoxious' ones, I doubt if I'd be as 'merciful'... Here, have some of this nice bean dip. SPLAT!  Evil 

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Trinkette
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« Reply #4 on: March 25, 2009, 02:52:55 PM »
Oh, goodness, Annie, I just LOVE your Bean Dip strategy. My DH's daughter-in-law was just 18 when she married... she's spoken often of situations similar to what you describe. I'll have to share The Magnificent Bean Dip Method with her!

Mrs. M., your "Oh, so pretty for a round stone" retort is brilliantly witty. Bravo! I love it.

DH, the ring is a SYMBOL of your love, not a statement about whether you and your GF are worthy enough.   director Don't let the b*stards take you down!

As Mrs. M. suggested, I'd like to think that I wouldn't dignify a rude remark with a response. As my FIL used to say, you can't get into a pissing contest with a skunk and win (sorry, that's a little coarse, I know). However, if it happened, I'm sure – now that I'm armed with the bean dip and round stone strategies – I'd be tempted to say SOMETHING. Wink

OK, I can't help it. I'm evil... here's my classic, "responsible citizen" approach:
"There are so many people struggling in this world today... spending on a piece of jewelry is just not a priority for us now."

Here, to be SURE to end a rude conversation, how about stringing a few together:
"You know, there are so many people struggling in this world today... a glitzy ring is just not a priority for us now. DH spent months researching diamonds and jewelry so that he was sure to find the perfect symbol of our love. And, he made some wonderful friends along the way. I'm so thrilled to have a special ring like this. May I see yours? Ohhh, yours is lovely for a round stone. And it does suit you. Please, could you pass the bean dip?"

 angel
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Mrs Mitchell
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« Reply #5 on: March 25, 2009, 03:04:37 PM »
Plus, it's worth remembering that DH spent a ton of $ on an absolutely first rate ring! It needs no explanation and no defending. If you wore that where I live, it would stop traffic. 

Honestly, if a platinum split shank Daussi cushion needs a witty retort to back it up, the world has gone MAD, MAD I TELL YOU!!! Grin

Jen



 
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annie1
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« Reply #6 on: March 25, 2009, 03:12:19 PM »
Quote from: Mrs Mitchell on March 25, 2009, 03:04:37 PM
Honestly, if a platinum split shank Daussi cushion needs a witty retort to back it up, the world has gone MAD, MAD I TELL YOU!!! Grin


I will admit that was my first thought as well!  It's a gorgeous ring!
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DiamondHunter
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« Reply #7 on: March 25, 2009, 03:22:10 PM »
I think Trinkette's string of response sums it up very well.  4

'You can't get into a pissing contest with a skunk and win' may be a little coarse but the analogy hits the nail on the head! I can't help cracking up and it's 3 in the morning here.  Grin You're all such a delightful company. Thank you!
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Trinkette
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« Reply #8 on: March 25, 2009, 03:44:24 PM »
You know, in all seriousness, the skunk analogy has saved me more times than I'd like to remember during recent years. I've been tempted, but, I am grateful now that I chose not to tangle with the animal. It has NOT always been an easy choice to make.

Also, DH, your mentioning the time difference reminds me that people from various parts of the world do not always share the same values when it comes to gemstones and gemstone characteristics, certainly in terms of design, but, especially when it comes to size and color.  Mrs. M., touched on this a little. Just another angle to think about when composing your "hypothetical" response.
 
Unseriously, keeping that thought in mind, responding to the hypothetical Rude Peer, Evil Trinkette might say something like, "Back home most other styles of jewelry would be considered gauche. Ahhhh, I see from what you are wearing that you have a different value system here."  Evil
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Mrs Mitchell
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« Reply #9 on: March 25, 2009, 04:00:16 PM »
ROFLMAO!!!!!
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oldmancoyote
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« Reply #10 on: March 25, 2009, 07:28:05 PM »
"...but that bean dip is so good. Would you like some?"
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ah2bqat
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« Reply #11 on: March 25, 2009, 08:20:27 PM »
 notworthy rotflmao rotflmao notworthy
I have absolutely nothing of value to add.  Except congratulations for lasting this long! smarty

Bean Dip, RB just right for you, social consciousness, skunks and firetrucks.  I love you guys! 

I'm gonna use that bean dip on a coworker who's ego has well exceeded his skunk size smileinbox laughing4! 
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GIAGirl
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« Reply #12 on: March 25, 2009, 08:22:32 PM »
I am sure I will have several comments.  I will be using the skunk comment in the future.

Gut response: "Well, it really is based on individual taste.  I really wanted a designer cut because I always said that the only way I would want JUST a round diamond would be if it were REALLY BIG...but to each his own."  

You have to say it smiling the whole time and super sweet.
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Trinkette
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« Reply #13 on: March 25, 2009, 08:33:19 PM »
Ohhhhhhhhhh, GIAGirl, that's divinely wicked.  Kiss

I think, as a general, hypothetical, rule, we all need to remember to add the "bean dip" at the end of our hypothetical comments. For example, you can see how forgetting it at the end of Evil Trinkette's hypothetical comment (reply #8 above) backfired (see OMC's reply #10 above). Afterall, if one is going to be snarky – hypothetically, of course – then, one needs to be assured a slam dunk.

Thank you, OMC, for this important lesson. Bean dip?  devildance
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GIAGirl
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« Reply #14 on: March 25, 2009, 08:50:10 PM »
AAAAAAAAHHHHHH! That is where the 'bean dip' is used.  I will remember that....I wish I had that a while back.   Evil
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Trinkette
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« Reply #15 on: March 25, 2009, 08:54:30 PM »
I like it so much, I think I'll just use it whenever I need it, regardless if there is actually any bean dip present or not.  angel
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GIAGirl
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« Reply #16 on: March 25, 2009, 08:56:55 PM »
Quote from: Trinkette on March 25, 2009, 08:54:30 PM
I like it so much, I think I'll just use it whenever I need it, regardless if there is actually any bean dip present or not.  angel

Crazy talk is always a good move. 

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Trinkette
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« Reply #17 on: March 25, 2009, 09:00:37 PM »
Well, I always say that it makes sense to do what comes naturally...  Banane13
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annie1
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« Reply #18 on: March 25, 2009, 10:32:29 PM »
Quote from: Trinkette on March 25, 2009, 08:54:30 PM
I like it so much, I think I'll just use it whenever I need it, regardless if there is actually any bean dip present or not.  angel

It's actually quite embarrassing to forget to replace the bean dip with something actually present.   Grin  Kidding.  I've never actually done it, but I've come close to not catching myself.

 
Quote from: ah2bqat on March 25, 2009, 08:20:27 PM
I'm gonna use that bean dip on a coworker who's ego has well exceeded his skunk size smileinbox laughing4! 

You made my night right there!
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ah2bqat
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« Reply #19 on: March 26, 2009, 01:49:58 AM »
I kisses your feeties, Annie!   Bean dip is the BESTEST! notworthy
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GIAGirl
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« Reply #20 on: March 26, 2009, 10:51:41 AM »
"Well, it really is based on individual taste.  I REALLY wanted a designer cut and not something you would see all day long at SAMS or in a MAUL." 
Pause, turn head to the side like you slipped up, then grab other persons ring hand and say with a tone of sympathy and like you are trying to convince them..."BUT your ring is nice too."

I from the Southeast.  We invented this talk.  I am sure I will come up with sweet evil things...just give me some time.
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Trinkette
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« Reply #21 on: March 26, 2009, 10:57:18 AM »
This is all pure naughtiness... but, in some sort of twisted way, there seems to be something remarkably therapeutic about this thread.  bunny7
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oldmancoyote
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« Reply #22 on: March 26, 2009, 12:46:42 PM »
"Everything you always wanted to tell to that "%~@^$! b*tch but never dared to say"
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Trinkette
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« Reply #23 on: March 26, 2009, 12:49:15 PM »
I couldn't have said it better...  icon_salut
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robin
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« Reply #24 on: March 26, 2009, 01:21:47 PM »
DH, I hope that your B2B has lovely friends who will simply say, "Oooooh!  That is sooo beautiful!", and then ask well-intentioned questions about the details.
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